Monday, October 31, 2022

Waiting for things to happen

I spend most of September in USA. I needed a long vacation for a while now and I had the time of my life. The only thing that was bothering me was my broken hard drive. I also talked to Titan, the MoGi Origins programmer. We didn't meet but he said he will finish every task I gave him, by the time I get back home.

I returned home at the beginning of October and I got Covid. The next 2 weeks I was feverish, in my bed. In all this time the hard drive is being copied by a technician, but veeery slowly. Also, Titan said that he will have something by the end of October. 

And now it's the end of October. The technician tries to save my HD with his machine running non-stop for about 2 months so far, and my programmer hasn't said a word. So, I have no updates and because of all that, my mood is on the floor. 

I was thinking of starting the development of a new Ucogi game while I wait, but at this point I feel tired. I have no energy. And I feel bad about it. I thought that some vacation time was all I needed but... I don't know, I guess I was wrong.

I hope this will change soon.
Thanks for listening.

 

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EDIT (3/11):
I just got some of my HD files. Specifically my work from 2021 and 2022. Most of my work is there but I have seen a couple of empty folders. I assume their contents weren't saved. These folders don't contain any MoGi work, as that was in a different folder. But the next things I'm trying to retrieve are some MoGi maps that I want to work on. Folders 2021-22 are 100GB and took a month to be retrieved. I'm glad that in folder 2022 I have a lot of important code that I was planning to use on my future games.

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EDIT (9/11):
Lately I feel unprecedentedly bad. I have no will to even have creative thoughts. I guess after all the years of waiting and begging for a few lines of code... I finally collapsed. Emotionally and mentally. It's hard for me to admit it, as by doing so, it makes it real. And I'm worrying all of you. My mood may change for the better, as it usually does. But right now I feel unable to be creative and I barely function in my real life. Titan hasn't spoke to me in weeks and that's a huge part of why I feel like crap.




Hopefully this will change soon. 

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EDIT (15/11):
Titan is still nowhere to be found. These where my latest messages, and the realization that this is going on for years... It is taking a huge toll on me. I even called him and it goes straight to voicemail. So I have to move on.

On the bright side, Ivel contacted me and we tried to find out how to work together. We havent found a middle ground yet, but his initiation alone, was just enough to wake me up from my depressing slumber. Currently I'm looking for a decent programmer. I contacted shaunspalding.co.uk but he didn't reply. And now I try to find a GameMaker programmer on fiverr.com

My HD is still in recovery. it will probably take months before I have all my flies back. Until then, I plan to buy a couple of new HDs (100 euros each) and a recovery program (200 euros) during Black Friday. I need the HDs for future backups and the a recovery program to try and salvage anything I can from the HDs that I already have. Something good needs to come out of all this madness.

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EDIT (24/11):
Titan contacted me a few days ago and he calmed my soul. He worked a bit the past 2 months and he managed to do some more work yesterday. Seemingly small stuff, but I'm glad. 

Because of that and other small things that have happened, I'm back in my normal mood. The slightly bad news is that I'm on a strict diet and I have to exercise because of some medical exams that I got. Also, some of my HD data has been recovered, even though it is still a work in progress. I can verify that some of my data is back in my hands, but a few images and files have been lost, probably forever.

Regarding MoGi, I got the "new" Scene Maps, that I made back in 2021. These are flat images of certain areas in the game that I have to re-design. 3 out of 23 images got corrupted, but thankfully I got some older versions of these files. Other than that, I discovered a couple of non-MoGi folders that were completely empty, which means, that their data is lost. The procedure might take months (it's been 3 months so far and there's a lot of data to recover). Some of my work will be lost, but Most of it seems like it's going to get back to me, in time.


12 comments:

  1. Слишком долго выпускается игра! Было бы лучше выпустить игру, а затем дополнения к ней.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "The game has been released for too long! It would be better to release the game and then add-ons to it."

      I want to release the game once it's completed. Right now I'm struggling to release a new beta, so what you suggest would be a complete disaster. The whole thing is very fragile and I'm barely holding it together as it is.

      Delete
  2. I do hope Titan unpaid for the times of non work.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I mean 'Titan is unpaid'.

      Delete
    2. Yes, now he gets paid only when he works. Things were different a few years ago and that's why that had to change. Still though, the workflow is very slow.

      Delete
  3. Of course, it's a pity to see that all this has happened. But nevertheless, I believe in you, in your success, and I will wait for the final of the game, I hope that the final will be
    ...fingers crossed

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, it means a lot. I wish I could do more but I feel emotionally and mentally drained for the past month.

      Delete
  4. You’ve come to far to give up, from all I’ve seen you will easily make rank 1 with your game , rest and work , it’s nothing more then another job , unless you enjoy it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for the nice, positive words. Currently... I feel very down, very blue. I was always a very creative person. But recently it's like I'm dead inside. Creatively paralyzed.

      I guess the MoGi delays and me fighting for it since 2015, finally got to me. I don't know if it's depression but I'm having hard time to even respond here and type these words. Maybe I finally broke. Not sure if it's burnout (probably not because I had a prolonged vacation time) but I don't want to do anything and I also feel guilty for being like this.

      Waiting this, waiting that... it got to me. bad. And no news from Titan, still. He said he will have something when I get back (Oct 3), he had nothing. Then he said he will have something by the end of Oct, nothing. Then he doesn't reply on skype or emails, nothing. And then I'm waiting for my data retrieval and that takes months.

      I want to go to sleep and wake up in 2028. Maybe then, someone would have done something that would help me finish this game.

      Delete
  5. you should almost always have to exercise a few days a week, you are supposed to balance that out with the rest of your obligations

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True. Just this week I decided to change a few aspects of my life due to bad doctor exams.

      I bought a bike, I stopped consuming meat, cheese and milk, and I started eating fruits and salads. I'm not complaining, but I wasn't taking care of my self for a long time now. Also I started throwing old things out of my house.

      All that was in the procedure of me trying to fix my negative mood, and so far it works.

      Delete
    2. Nutrition is huge, sounds like you're being conscientious and doing the best you can. I basically just do cardio runs twice a week and occasionally will do small sets of pushups, but i stick to the cardio schedule and I don't fall off that without the mental intent to make it up if at all possible.

      Delete