Mogi Origins Dev Journal

Mogi Origins Dev Journal

Monday, February 26, 2018

Inside a creator's mind

Hey, Veins here.

Today I'm in a good mood. Not for MoGi Origins, but for myself. You may not care about me as a person, but about my animating skills and the progress of the game, and that's fine. My work is what makes me feel useful. And I do feel the need to feel useful and worthy. This post will get personal, but I need to say a few things, so here it goes. I went to one of those self-improvement seminars. I was skeptical about it, especially after having watched Pen&Tellers Bullshit with such a theme. Being skeptical doesn't mean that I'm afraid to try and explore new things. And yes, I did try to debunk what they said in that meeting. But as trivial I found the success stories of rich people and as much of a show I found the arrow-braking necks, the actual advises were pretty on spot. And since my mind never stops thinking of "work", they gave me inspiration about a few details that I can use on Ucogi's church cult. You know, the Church that she grew up and they turned her into a cleaning goddess.

Also, since I was waiting on Titan to finish the beta (I was done with my part for the time being), I had some free time to scout for programmers that may help us with the game. In the last couple of months I participated in 3 Jams for that reason: Global Game Gam, Art Games Jam and Strawberry Jam. I even met a girl so perfect and pure, she could have been a real life Ucogi... without the big boobs! She is one of those people that you admire so much, that fills your heart with hope for something better. So yeah, the anti-social lil me, had a couple of good weeks, that lifted my spirit.

I needed that, because I wanted a small victory for myself. I haven't had one in a long time, ever since MoGi Origins got funded in OffBeatr, 5 years ago. Since then, everything else I do is bumping on obstacles. And unfortunately, I have to talk about all the negative stuff now which will decrease my good mood. But it's stuff that I need to share.

The crowdfunding was done on Feb 2014, 4 years ago. I was working with Titan 7 months before that to build the fist demo and I was working on the character design since 2013. I started this project when I was 34 years old and now I'm almost fucking 40! I haven't even done an Ucogi game in all those years. So yeah, I feel like a failure. MoGi Origins is one of the best things that happened to me, but that had a toll on me. For 5 years, I never truly got a break. I needed to have the story of 7 characters in my head, and enrich it with anything new I might experience to make the game better. The other day I took several photos of building with ideas that I can use in the game. The game has consumed me. And that's fine, I like it, but I was living so much in that fantasy world that haven't had the time to take care of myself. Even when my mom was sick at the hospital, I was doing sketches regarding the game. But the thing is... the game could have been completed by now. And that is killing me.

Granted, the game is huge and it's essentially 7 games in one. But Titan being absent for most of 2016 and 2017, we only had 3 Beta releases. All that without fixing any choppy work from earlier entries. There's a report that I keep adding stuff for fixing... it's 104 pages long. Without the images, that's 10.114 words. And to be honest, I'm not happy with the current state of the game. Titan admitted that this was too much for him to handle and that's when I started looking for people to help us out. I talked about that in the last Blog entry, so I will just post a video of a few conversations here, for anyone who might want to check in detail. The video is mostly about Jevar and MS Global who stole money from us. I do this because people need to be careful out there, because some people may think that I was lying or finding excuses about my dealings, and because making a game is not as easy as you may think. Many things happen backstage that you can never be aware of unless someone from the inside talks about them.

In the video I also included the guy behind Meet&Fuck games. You may agree with him or me, that's up to you. Finishing this game would be a small victory for myself, and even that was taken away from me, making me feel even worse about myself. In short, I thought that the MnF owner wouldn't reply because he didn't want the game any more. When he finally replied (1.5 months later) he didn't like my sex scenes, I called him a dick and he rejected the whole thing, blaming me that I wasted a year of his life. Which was unfair because I spent time working on it, while he was doing other things.

So, fuck all that. I take full responsibility for everything that went wrong. It is my fault. The self-improvement seminar was clear on that. But dammit I tried. Still, I don't consider this a failure, but a learning experience. The game I did for Meet&Fuck will end up in Patreon, for the people who actually support me. I was already feeling bad for working on something else while MoGi Origins progresses so slow, but to my defense, waiting on Titan for weeks and months at a time was soul crunching. I attended many Jams so far in 2018 is because I couldn't sit around and wait on Titan to do his job like I did last year. Working alone without signs of life from your partner... is maddening. Also I needed some time off from the game and my mind as well.

So far, I wanted to keep on doing art for MoGi Origins so that Titan would be pressured into finishing the game. But that wasn't the case since he told me that "I haven't finished all the art yet" which I felt it was unfair to say. At this point we only have 1 guy doing the level design and he is slow but I can't force him to work any faster. I'm kind of desperate and I am running out of ideas here. The seminar also said not to focus on the negative stuff but on "what we can do". And you know what? By accepting responsibility, I have to do everything I can to correct this. 

You guys don't want to hear excuses, but to see results. So am I. And what comes down to it, is money, your Patreon money. Since everything else has failed, all I can do is force Titan to record his screen so that I would know how much work he does, and I would do the same. Then we can get divide the Patreon money we get depending on how long we have worked. I think this sounds fair and it's something I can control, and hopefully avoid mistakes and delays in the future. 

Titan is good at what he does and he is the only one who knows what is going on in the game's code. Due to real life matters and other aspects he is not as punctual as he used to be. By having others doing the levels, he would have time to do more important things, like programing enemies and riddles. So far this path fails and recently I even proposed to him to come and live with me in order to focus and finish the game, even though we are a couple of continents apart. I have tried everything that I can think of, to make this work.

The truth is that I am a man who has a talent, I want to work, to create, to be successful. This wall of text is mostly about me and my mistakes and my dreams. The problems and solutions, the ups and the downs. But I can't finish this game on my own. Everyone needs reliable partners, help, support, a couple of positive words to keep going, even a hug. 

I'm working on board games on my spare time because I don't need other's help. I don't need a programmer or a musician because I program the game through the instructions manual. Actually I got a mini game of mine published 3 months ago and that was a small victory. But through all this chaos, I couldn't even celebrate it. It was swallowed by every other failure around me. Also, the money I will get from it, is peanuts. Regarding the Strawberry Jam, I had the graphics ready in less than a day, and 20 days later (today) the programmer hasn't even gave me a sample of the game. I hope I can finish it though, and share it with all of you.

Another guy wanted to make with me a point and click game which is an awesome opportunity to tell Rudy's story. I wrote the story in 1 day... and it's a story I have in my mind for over 10 years now. That guy hasn't contacted me since. But I'm tempted to do that story it on my own in Flash. So many lost opportunities for games... I guess I could share with you the game I made in the Art Jam with my team. I'm the camera guy so I don't appear in the video, and there is no porn involved but you might see a hot chick or two. The theme was Art and Politics, and it's a board game.

Oh yeah, you want to know about he next Beta. I don't know! I really wanted to name this post "SuccuBeta!", but you got my personal crap instead. Titan wanted to release the Beta since November but failed the December, Xmas, New Years, and February's deadlines. 15 days ago he told me he need 1 more day. Since then he only spoke to me 3 times, telling me that he will be back soon and that he will have a beta before the end of February. I even wrote that blog-post and it's ready to publish! Anyways, I told him 3 days ago that he has until Monday or I'm posting here. He never replied. So I'm posting here. So I don't know. 

I will leave you with a positive note. Of what to expect.


  1. Well. I don't know what to type here except... first.

  2. About the first part where you mentioned the seminars: I would love to recommend you some books of Dale Carnegie since he gets so often referred by these kinds of seminars, books and blogs as the founder of such fields. I am positive that it will inspire you and help you in a personal level. You might think that no one cares about your personal side after all It is up to you how much you share with us. Your and Titans self esteem is the most crucial thing for the project to be done and most important for your personal health.

    1. I dont have much time to read, but sure, they can be of great help. From what I saw these seminars have 3 distinct areas:
      1) explanation of how world works / advices
      2) stories of other people
      3) the social aspect (dancing, tricks, hugs etc).

      I dont care about the stories but the advices and the social aspect is what made me feel great. But yeah, I'm working for so long on this project and there are so many things to be fixed. For example I'm not happy with the parallax of every level in the game and only Titan can fix that. I really want this game to be twice as good after all this time I'm working on it.

  3. Well, it is as I feared. MoGi has become the next BreedingSeason. The only difference is that you, Veins, are not the scumbag S was. Quite the opposite actually.
    Please, if this game breaks apart, which I sadly have to assume it will, promise me that you will release all the art, all the animations and pinups for the backers to download. As someone who spent 30$ on the Offbeatr campaign, I don't ask for more (especially if all the animations are already done).
    Don't let yourself waste away waiting, be fair, but expect others to take responsibility. I can only reiterate what I said on an earlier blog post: try to get in contact Hentai Writer, from what I can tell, he is the most capable that can get h-games properly started nowadays.

    As for Titan, I'm sure you're reading this, own up to your failure. You are getting nothing done, you are lying to yourself. You think that you can't stop now because you'd have wasted all that time, and more importantly, all that money those people gave you. But the fact is that you are wasting money right now, and you will continue to waste even more money if you keep slobbing away at this.

    If you own up to your mistakes now, maybe there is a chance to restart the project once you got your life in order. But if you wait until veins shuts everything down, you fucked up for good, just like H-Bomb did (that lil bitch).

    I don't know if I'm right with this, I actually challenge you to prove me wrong. But if I'm not, you are doing everyone a disservice. The people who are still pouring money into this bottomless pit, the people who wait, more or less patiently, Veins, who gets pulled down by trying so much to shovel more water out of this sinking ship than is pouring in at any moment, and lastly you, who I strongly suspect is not only failing at realizing this game, but also at many other things in life as proxy of this.

    1. Best luck to you. Hentai Writer is/was, if I remember this correctly, actually working in the gaming business. He has multiple projects running currently, most known may be Future Fragments. He seems to know many people that are capable and interested in working with h-games, which includes coders, designers and artists.

      If nothing else, maybe he can give you some advice and suggest some programmers that might be willing to help.

    2. I'm still trying to do anything in my power to avoid this. I took a look at GM and making the levels is not all that hard, but it needs a designer than a programmer. I could do it myself if I didn't have so much to do already.

      And yes, I promise to release all the art. This game is my child and I will finish every sprite and sex scene even if I can't program them into the game. In all honesty, not much is left to do on my side for Voms' timeline:
      MoGi: SlimeGirl Purple and Blue
      MoGi Sex scenes: Purple, Blue, Vampire, Troll
      Queens: Succubus 2, Golem, Stheno (and Cyclops' sex scene)
      Hostage scenes: Vampire, Pixie
      Ucogi, Alice, Vor sprites.

      I think in 3 months of hard work I can have all that done. Last year however I had to deal with music guys and level designers among other things.

      (edit: sorry I deleted my previous reply to correct the last part of it, regarding Hentai Writer.)

      I just emailed him. I hope he can be able to help out. Thanks for your input on the matter. Any info is appreciated.

    3. Great, I hope he is able and willing to help.

    4. He replied and I was invited to his adult game development discord. This could be a huge thing, thank you so much for your help! It might be just what we needed!

  4. That's harsh man...
    I am really hoping things turn out ok, been thinking about that for a while and wanting things to turn out good for you.
    Been a long path, full uof problems and you are still struggling.
    Its amazing how you still have willpower to continue, i would be pretty depressed. It's inspiring, really...
    I even gasped when i read you invited titan to live with you, that's how committed you are to the game...
    Also Succubus animation looks awesome, way better than I expected!
    So Succogi and Succalice will be edits on that animation? Like changing skin color and adding each girl's facila/body features?

    1. Thanks for your nice words. Yes, I do try to do everything in my power to finish this.

      Im glad you like Succy :P

      Yes, Succogi and Succalice will be edits of that animation with their faces attached to it. This animation has boob expansion, so, the girls wont have that, they would have only the basic animation and maybe some adjustments.

  5. Ty for never giving up, you are one of the few people who stay true to their word no matter what and refuse to give up. If it were any other person in charge of this game it would have been left behind long ago. Titan needs to get his shit together honestly, and that is the main issue here.. Is there some way for you to arrange a conversation with him, just some kind of call or meetup to have a talk with him about the situation??

    1. There is a lot at stake. My reputation, my future, my life itself. Plus, despite the obstacles, this is the best job I ever had.

      What happened with Breading Season was a lesson to us all. A path to be avoided. Quitting and blaming others is easy. And there is a lot of work done in this game to scrap it.

      I talk to Titan often. Deep and personal talks. He keeps promising me that things will get better. It was in one of those talks that last year he admitted that he needs others to help out with the level making. I found like 6 guys to help us out (that took away a lot of my time of course). So it's not like there is no progress, but the progress is very slow. Whenever Titan works on the game, it shows. He is able to release a beta in no time when he actually works and I'm very pleased with his programing abilities (how the MoGi act etc). But yeah, when he gets back we need to have one of those talks again.

    2. (different anon)
      I think Titan's drive needs to come from within. At the end of the day all of us struggle with motivation in some way or another - I know I certainly do. While your talks may help briefly, he's really got to want to do this. Reminders of his past work will hopefully help him to the end!

      Best of luck.

    3. I tried to work with many programmers over the years but they quit because they lack self-motivation, skills, interest or focus. Titan is skillful and driven when he works and he believes in our game.

      I talked to Titan about traveling from America to Europe and stay with me for a month or two to work on the game alongside me. We are not sure yet if we will go ahead with this, but there arent many options. If this happens, the challenges will be many but we need a jumpstart urgently because I can't go on like this for much longer. And this is something I'm telling him for over 2 years now.

      Btw, I'm animating SlimeGirl Purple ^^

    4. Hope it all works out :) Keep up the good work!

  6. hello one question why the hell i dont get updates for beta on dropbox link the last one was 2017 i was one of the offbeatr
    who bought beta + full game if its out o.O

    1. Yes you are correct. As bad as that sounds, this is what I have been writing about in the last 2 blog entries. There is no new Beta because Titan is struggling to find the time to program the game.

      On the bright side, I haven't stopped working on the game. I have animated almost all the MoGi (except the Queens). Alraune, Vampire, Troll, Succubus and Purple are done and only Blue is left to be made by me. So there is progress in the art department, but not so much in the programming department. I have been fighting with Titan over this on Skype and it is driving me mad.

      If it's of any consolation, I have a list of videos that show my progress, which is a glimpse of what to expect in the future. Here is one of my latest, showing SlimeGirl Purple:

    2. ah ok i though you forgot the offbeatr supporter and dont update for them and only for patreon but know that i read it so you didn't forgot us ^^

    3. No don't worry we can never forget Offbeatr. Even now I talk to guys who pledged in there to make the MoGi and the scenes they paid for. Besides, Offbeatr guys and Patreon guys share the same Beta link.

      The funny thing is that my focus was this blog, and only in the past 3 days I started posting more on Patreon. In a way this blog managed to be my territory to write stuff and Patreon was left mostly for Titan to deal with.

      Coincidentally, your comment was posted just when I decided to start writing stuff on Patreon. Patreon is what is keeping us alive right now and I needed to give them more stuff to be happy about. Also I do feel the need to share more stuff with all of you, and spark discussion and will motivate me to do more, but a blog post seems to big compared to the small posts that Patreon has.

  7. Hey man just keeping on going I pledge back in the off beater days. I look forward to the full on release.

    1. I do try to keep going as hard as I can :)
      and I do look forward for the full release as well!

  8. Please. Don't give up. i've been following this game for years now. i admit it, i'm a lurker, and i may or may not gotten my hands on an older version of this game that i shouldn't have since i'm unable to support you guys in any way financially. i want to, but the only way i pay is by paysafe. any other way i'd have to ask someone else, which would be awkward since. y'know. porn.

    but i'm gonna make sure to support you emotionally. so do everyone a favor victor and try to get this show on the road. i've seen so many good porn-games and kickstarters, things that had potential to be a great games go down the gutter because of various reasons.

    someone once said something like "Creating a game is the easy part, working on it is the hard part, but finishing it? that's the difficult part"

    so. breath in. breath out. take a nap. grab a bite. get your strength back, and then go out and prove everyone, you can finish this game no matter what stands in your way, you will endure the hard times and the easy times and prove that you are one of the few creators who are capable of finishing their games.

    i'm counting on you, and despite everything that happened, will support you and your game until the bitter end. if i could help any other way i would.

    1. Thank you. Emotional support is the best kind. It means a lot.

      I do my very best to keep going. Giving up is not an option for me.